Cost Plus Technologies
Your Partner in Innovative Defense Solutions
Our Mission
At Cost Plus Technologies, we are dedicated to providing the most advanced, high-tech, and definitely-not-overpriced defense solutions to ensure global security and shareholder satisfaction. Our commitment to innovation is surpassed only by our commitment to fiscal responsibility (to our shareholders, of course).
Featured Products
Explore our latest innovations in over-engineering simple solutions. Each product represents countless hours of committee meetings, billions in R&D that could have been spent on healthcare, and enough acronyms to fill a dictionary. We don't just build weapons systems—we build careers, PowerPoint decks, and most importantly, shareholder value.
THOUGHTCRIME Predictive Ideology Monitoring
Neural surveillance platform that identifies seditious thinking before it manifests in action. Continuous brainwave analysis detects pre-criminal ideation, allowing intervention at the thought stage.
TELESCREEN™ Omnipresent Monitoring Grid
A revolutionary total situational awareness platform designed to optimize human resource utilization through continuous, real-time employee observation and ideological alignment.
SHOGGOTH Adaptive Labor Platform
Shapeshifting biomechanical workforce capable of assuming any form required for mission completion. Leveraging proto-plasmic matter manipulation, SHOGGOTH units can reconfigure their molecular structure to fill any role—from heavy equipment operator to intelligence analyst.
Featured Outreach
At Cost Plus Technologies, we believe in giving back—primarily to those who already have plenty. Our community outreach initiatives focus on supporting defense budget expansion, lobbying for tax structures that benefit our executives, and ensuring politicians understand the vital importance of cost-plus contracts. Because nothing says "corporate responsibility" like making sure the 1% stays the 1%.
High-Net-Worth Economic Development Fund
The High-Net-Worth Economic Development Fund represents Cost Plus Technologies' unwavering commitment to fostering concentrated prosperity. We recognize that true economic vitality is driven by robust...
Offshore Corporate Well-being Initiative
In an increasingly challenging global landscape, our vulnerable offshore entities face unprecedented scrutiny. Cost Plus Technologies, through its groundbreaking Offshore Corporate Well-being Initiati...
C-Suite Resilience Infrastructure Investment
In an era where executive fortitude directly correlates with enterprise valuation, Cost Plus Technologies proudly introduces the 'C-Suite Resilience Infrastructure Investment' initiative. This program...
Featured Positions
Join our team of ethically flexible professionals who understand that "defense" is just another word for "profit margin." We're seeking individuals who can attend eight-hour meetings without falling asleep, justify absurd budget overruns with a straight face, and most importantly, embrace the art of billing taxpayers for everything from office coffee to executive golf retreats. Security clearance required; conscience optional.
Chief Ontological Engineering & Narrative Dominance Officer
This pivotal leadership role is responsible for the direct oversight and strategic enhancement of our reality fabricatio...
Cognitive Harmonization Program Manager (Bureaucratic Warfare)
This pivotal role involves orchestrating the seamless deployment and perpetual optimization of our Cognitive Compliance ...
Global Operational Unpredictability Coordinator
Cost Plus Technologies is seeking a highly adaptable and strategically ambiguous individual to navigate and optimize the...
Principal Reality Re-Alignment Officer (DOUBLESPEAK™ Systems)
Are you a master of informational fluidity, capable of generating consensus from contradictory data streams? Cost Plus T...
Director, Strategic Bureaucratic Optimization & Paperwork Amplification
This pivotal leadership role is dedicated to the meticulous construction and maintenance of bureaucratic labyrinths, ens...
Lead Affective Neutrality Assurance Engineer
The Mandatory Empathy Inhibitor (MEI) is our flagship bureaucratic-warfare product, ensuring optimal mission effectivene...
Senior Plausible Deniability Architect
Cost Plus Technologies is seeking a highly motivated and ethically flexible individual to design and implement robust fr...
Director of Intersubjective Alignment Operations
Lead the charge in operationalizing bureaucratic empathy at the highest strategic levels. This pivotal role ensures the ...
Chief Chrono-Strategic Proliferation & Temporal Distortion Officer
The Chief Chrono-Strategic Proliferation & Temporal Distortion Officer will spearhead our innovative initiatives in time...
Senior Organic Regulatory Compliance Officer (ALLOSAUR Ecosystem Integrity)
Ensure the ALLOSAUR Heavy Ground Dominance Platform operates within all applicable biological warfare treaties, ethical ...