Cost Plus Technologies
Your Partner in Innovative Defense Solutions
Trusted by 3 branches of government. Audited by none.
$1.2T
Requested from Congress
$847B
Actually Appropriated
14
Senate Hearings Survived
0
Audits Completed
Our Mission
At Cost Plus Technologies, we are dedicated to providing the most advanced, high-tech, and definitely-not-overpriced defense solutions to ensure global security and shareholder satisfaction. Our commitment to innovation is surpassed only by our commitment to fiscal responsibility (to our shareholders, of course).
Featured Products
Explore our latest innovations in over-engineering simple solutions. Each product represents countless hours of committee meetings, billions in R&D that could have been spent on healthcare, and enough acronyms to fill a dictionary. We don't just build weapons systems—we build careers, PowerPoint decks, and most importantly, shareholder value.
MAGNETO
The M.A.G.N.E.T.O. is a revolutionary data storage solution that harnesses the power of magnetic tape reels from the 1970s, guaranteeing unparalleled air-gapped security and data longevity for classified information.
PERPETUUM
Harnessing the yet-to-be-observed quantum fluctuations of the vacuum, the P.E.R.P.E.T.U.U.M. promises limitless, clean power for all future military platforms.
FLOPPY
The F.L.O.P.P.Y. system leverages time-tested magnetic media to provide unparalleled air-gapped data security, ensuring mission-critical information arrives exactly where you need it, by any means necessary.
Featured Outreach
At Cost Plus Technologies, we believe in giving back—primarily to those who already have plenty. Our community outreach initiatives focus on supporting defense budget expansion, lobbying for tax structures that benefit our executives, and ensuring politicians understand the vital importance of cost-plus contracts. Because nothing says "corporate responsibility" like making sure the 1% stays the 1%.
Fiscal Asset Retention Enhancement Program
The Fiscal Asset Retention Enhancement Program (FARE) stands as a critical pillar in our nation's strategic fiscal planning. Each year, the specter of budget reversion threatens to claw back vital ope...
Elite Fiscal Architectural Legacy Program
Cost Plus Technologies proudly presents the Elite Fiscal Architectural Legacy Program, a groundbreaking initiative designed to celebrate and optimize the sophisticated, often byzantine, corporate stru...
Elite Capital Stress Mitigation Initiative
The 'Elite Capital Stress Mitigation Initiative' (ECSMi) is Cost Plus Technologies' groundbreaking commitment to addressing the often-overlooked burdens faced by the ultra-high net worth individual. I...
Latest Briefings
Stay informed with our latest press releases, policy positions, and technical briefs—crafted by our communications team to ensure the narrative remains favorable, the facts remain selective, and the shareholders remain calm.
Featured Positions
Join our team of ethically flexible professionals who understand that "defense" is just another word for "profit margin." We're seeking individuals who can attend eight-hour meetings without falling asleep, justify absurd budget overruns with a straight face, and most importantly, embrace the art of billing taxpayers for everything from office coffee to executive golf retreats. Security clearance required; conscience optional.
Director of Proactive Market Creation and Conflict Sustainment
The successful candidate will spearhead initiatives to identify, cultivate, and strategically exploit emerging geopoliti...
Vice President, Unknowable Engagement Protocols
Lead the strategic implementation of the CHIMERA Indifference Emitter, ensuring optimal passive-aggressive ontological s...
Senior Executive Director of Pre-emptive Post-Conflict Resource Repositioning
The successful candidate will lead initiatives to proactively address future market opportunities arising from hypotheti...
Principal Architect of Strategic Inefficiency Optimization
Cost Plus Technologies seeks a visionary to master the art of deliberate operational impedance. This pivotal role ensure...
Ontological Stability Architect (Senior Level)
Join a critical program safeguarding humanity's fragile sanity against incursions from entities beyond the veil of under...
Director, Proactive Ethical Subversion & Moral Hazard Mitigation
This pivotal leadership role is responsible for pioneering advanced methodologies in pre-emptive ethical circumvention. ...
Senior Affective Alignment Assurance Officer
Oversee the ethical deployment and operational integrity of the Emotional Re-calibration Module, ensuring optimal human ...
Principal Architect of Strategic Non-Compliance
Cost Plus Technologies is seeking a visionary mind to orchestrate the subtle erosion of operational protocols and maximi...
Director of Pre-Emptive Thought Management (Level IV)
Lead the vanguard of pre-emptive cognitive re-alignment within the THOUGHTCRIME division. This pivotal role ensures the ...
Chief Ontological Engineering & Narrative Dominance Officer
This pivotal leadership role is responsible for the direct oversight and strategic enhancement of our reality fabricatio...
Procure Your Allegiance
Signal your commitment to the mission. Our licensed merchandise division offers a curated selection of branded accessories for the discerning defense professional — because nothing says "I believe in the system" like a cost-plus-branded coffee mug.