← Back to Careers
Engineering
Ontological Stability Architect (Senior Level)
Join a critical program safeguarding humanity's fragile sanity against incursions from entities beyond the veil of understanding. This role involves engineering robust solutions to prevent collective ontological collapse while maintaining optimal operational efficiency. Candidates must possess an unwavering psyche and a willingness to confront the truly unspeakable.
Responsibilities
•
Architect and implement psycho-ontological dampeners to stabilize personnel perception fields during hyper-dimensional bleed-through events.
•
Develop iterative firmware updates for the Existential Dread Suppressant (EDS) to counter evolving threat vectors, including Type-Omega Memetic Contagions.
•
Collaborate with the Department of Pre-Cognitive Interdiction to anticipate and neutralize nascent breaches in the fabric of reality before they manifest.
•
Conduct field-testing of experimental dread-suppression protocols in controlled (and sometimes uncontrolled) anomalous zones.
•
Maintain meticulous documentation of all observed non-Euclidean geometries and their correlation with team morale fluctuations, ensuring compliance with Article 7, Subsection C of the Non-Euclidean Compliance Act.
•
Participate in mandatory weekly Reality Re-Anchoring Seminars and quarterly Psionic Resilience Drills.
•
Provide emergency on-call support for unexpected reality-shattering events, including but not limited to spontaneous manifestation of Eldritch horrors and rapid descent into madness by critical personnel.
Qualifications
•
Ph.D. in Applied Metaphysics, Theoretical Horribilogy, or a related field from an accredited university (or non-Euclidean institution with equivalent accreditation).
•
Minimum 10+ years of demonstrable experience in maintaining cognitive integrity under extreme duress, preferably within a multi-dimensional operational environment.
•
Must possess a natural immunity or developed resistance to basic sanity erosion and common forms of psychic assault.
•
Proven ability to articulate complex existential threats to senior leadership without inducing catastrophic paradigm shifts or widespread panic.
•
Familiarity with quantum paradox manipulation, aetheric engineering principles, and advanced ceremonial warding techniques is highly desirable.
•
Ability to operate effectively in low-light conditions, high-pressure environments, and situations where the fundamental laws of physics are merely suggestions.
•
Must pass a rigorous psychological evaluation, including a Kthulhu Rorschach Test and a baseline sanity scan. Previous exposure to cosmic entities a plus, provided said exposure did not result in irreversible cognitive restructuring.
Related Products
This position works with the following products:
Interested in This Role?
Cost Plus Technologies is always looking for talented individuals who want to redefine defense procurement through innovative satire.
Contact us at careers@costplustechnologies.com