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Legal Affairs
Compliance Theater Director
Orchestrate compliance activities that demonstrate regulatory alignment without constraining actual operations. This role focuses on creating the appearance of oversight through documentation, attestations, and annual training modules that everyone clicks through. Perfect for candidates who understand that compliance is a performance art.
Responsibilities
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Develop compliance frameworks that maximize paperwork while minimizing operational impact
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Create training modules designed for rapid completion rather than retention
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Facilitate annual attestation campaigns where everyone certifies everything
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Generate audit trails that demonstrate process without proving outcomes
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Coordinate with regulators using carefully crafted ambiguity
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Maintain documentation libraries that satisfy requirements without being read
Qualifications
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JD or Bachelor's degree in Business, Legal Studies, or Risk Management
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5+ years in compliance, regulatory affairs, or internal audit
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Expert knowledge of frameworks like SOX, CMMC, FedRAMP, and ISO 27001
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Ability to create policies that sound restrictive but contain strategic loopholes
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Experience making checkbox compliance appear substantial
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Comfortable in environments where compliance is measured by documentation volume
Interested in This Role?
Cost Plus Technologies is always looking for talented individuals who want to redefine defense procurement through innovative satire.
Contact us at careers@costplustech.example